Dance: One of My Therapeutic Arts

Welcome back to Musings of an Arthritic Artist! 

Today's post is going to be about dance and how it has impacted my life.

King, Alexandria. Musings of an Arthritic Artist. 2021.

I'm a self-taught dancer. I’m sure if I told anyone I was an arthritic self-taught dancer, they'd doubt the severity of my illness, or think I'm "faking." (Either that or they'd tell me I'm lying because I'm too young to have arthritis). As I mentioned in my first post, why would I fake being sick? I'd sooner fake being healthy (not that I'd fake at all). It seems counter-productive, I'm sure. 

There are certain dance styles I can't do, due to limitations and risks, professional ballet being the main one. I'd probably also never tap dance, as much as I enjoy watching it. Too many jerky ankle movements. Knowing me, I'd end up kicking and hurting myself, potentially setting off a flare. 

___________________________________________________

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of being in ballet productions and being a prima ballerina, but that never would've been a feasible career path for a few reasons. 

One being that I have arthritis in my toes and holding my body up by them in pointe shoes would put unneeded strain on my toes and legs. Two is that my main goal is to be an artist (the drawing and painting kind), so much so that by the time I was three years old, I was already telling my family I was an artist. Being a professional dancer most likely would've given me less time for the other art I wanted to do. Therefore, I utilize dance as a hobby, not a career path. 

I drew on the walls more than I danced around the house, mostly because I could barely even walk when I was a toddler, much less dance. However, when I was a child, I used to dance all the time on weekends. My older sister was in ballet when she was younger, so I wanted to do ballet as well. Like most younger siblings, I wanted to do what my elder one did. 

When I was a bit older, I was still interested in ballet and dance, but it’s kind of difficult to dance or do ballet when you’re too busy trying to find out how to get around when your joints are stiff and you’re in pain. I began watching dance instead of partaking in it, thinking that I could only enjoy dance as a spectator. 

I spent the majority of my time between the ages of 5-9 attending high school football games and supporting my sister at half-time. My older sister switched from playing clarinet in band to being in the marching band color guard, so I frequently danced and pretended I was in color guard (whenever I use this term in this post, I'm referring to marching band). 

My family and I would attend band competitions and winterguard competitions frequently to see my sister perform. Sometimes the band competitions would sell mini color guard flags, so my parents bought me a few (I think I have at least 6). I would wave them around and dance during breaks. 

The point is, I used to dance when I was little pretty frequently, but for some reason I just stopped after a certain point. It was most likely due to flares and medical reasons, but I honestly don't remember. 

___________________________________________________

I began dancing again in August 2016 after watching some YouTube videos. I don't even know how I got on the topic, but I did. Mostly, I dance for myself, though I have performed a few times in front of my parents and sister.

In October 2016, I put on a Halloween dance show for my parents and sister. I performed to the soundtrack for The Nightmare Before Christmas. To them, it was amazing. To me, it was horrible. However, I will give myself credit, because it was difficult to perform in a bedroom wearing the dress I chose. Not to mention I had only been dancing (actively) for 3 months.

In 2018, I began doing another dance show for my parents and sister, this one as an anniversary gift to my parents. I've only performed a quarter of that show because we ran out of daylight the day we did it. I still haven't finished choreographing to the music because I'm a major procrastinator. That show was to songs from the 1980s. 

Again, my parents enjoyed it. I didn't. Every time I re-watch the videos from that day, I always end up cringing. I like to think that if I performed those songs on camera this year I'd look better, but I honestly doubt it. 

I haven't danced much in front of my parents (at least where they can hear the song I'm dancing to), though my sister has watched me a few times. I haven't been confident enough to perform in front of them for the past year, mostly because I am currently in the middle of a flare. My left elbow hasn't been able to straighten out to a 180 degree angle in a little while, so when I do arabesques or extensions, my arm ends up looking funny, since it's currently bent at some sort of obtuse angle (I don't know how many degrees).

___________________________________________________

Dance has become a healthy outlet for pent up emotions that'll negatively impact my arthritis. I actually have more pain when I don't exercise and dance than when I do because stress will build and build until my body punishes me for feeling so much.  

My favorite style of dance is Lyrical. There's something satisfying and freeing about dancing to an emotional song. Some of my favorite songs to dance to are by Rob Thomas. My two favorites are "Her Diamonds" and "Pieces." I feel such an emotional connection to the lyrics to those two songs while dancing. 

Dancing has been as beneficial to me emotionally as writing (which I'll discuss in a post later this month), though dance is more beneficial to me when it comes to physical activity.

___________________________________________________

When I was a child I used to have quite a bit of limitations, which meant that my joints could only bend so far. I couldn't touch my shoulders with my fingers without bending them down to touch. When I began dancing, I had been stretching every day for at least thirty minutes. After a few months, I was able to touch my shoulders better than I had been before. Some of the limitations I had been labeled as having when I was a child had ceased. 

I ended up being able to do the splits. I have technically lost it because I haven't been stretching lately, and honestly, I can feel the difference. I don't feel worse, but I feel less flexible. My body gets tired quicker during the day. So, in short, I need to dance again.

That's it for this post!

See you Thursday,

Lexi K🖌