Thursday, May 27, 2021

Ancient Rome Mixed With Arabian Mythology: An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir (Spoiler-Free Review)

Welcome back to Musings of an Arthritic Artist! Today I'm going to be doing a spoiler free book review. This review is for An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir, a quartet I read all of last year.

Let's get into the review!

An Ember in the Ashes is a YA fantasy novel. This is the first in a four book series (quartet). This novel is told from the perspectives of two characters. Laia, a seventeen year old girl, and Elias, a seventeen year old boy. It's in first-person POV.

The later novels add more POVs, but this book just follows Laia and Elias. Every chapter alternates point-of-view. The novel begins with Laia, then introduces Elias as narrator in chapter two. It continues in this pattern until the book ends.

Laia is a scholar girl who decides to risk her life to spy for rebels that promise to rescue her brother, who was arrested for treason (not a spoiler; it's in the synopsis).

Elias is the finest soldier at the school Laia infiltrates (a school that trains children and teenagers to become deadly soldiers for the government [Martial Empire]). He wants to be free of the life he's been forced into.

I don't want to speak much about it, because I feel like this is a story you should go into with very little information, because that's how I enjoyed it. All I knew was that this was a YA Fantasy/Romance that took place in a world based on ancient Rome. That's literally all I knew.

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I loved Laia and Elias as the protagonists. I immediately fell in love with them. There are seldom books where I equally want to know what happens to the characters. Some chapters I wanted to know what happened to Elias, while in other chapters, I found myself wanting to know what happened to Laia. Both of these characters are now two of my favorite book characters.

They both held their own. While this is a romance novel (moreso in later books, but it lightly begins here), neither character needs a partner to save them. At least, not 100%. There are times where they are saved by the other (usually when the other can't save themself). Both Elias and Laia are rebellious, but in different ways. They're both rebelling against the same entity, but the way they each handle it is very different.

Elias is an emotionally damaged character, but he's never a jerk. He's sensitive, soft, and sympathetic. He's definitely hardened emotionally, and there are times where he is emotionless, but he isn't a jerk, which I really enjoyed.

Laia was a girl I loved the moment she ran to try to save her brother. If you know me, then you know I love stories with siblings (as long as it's done well, chances are that a book will get a higher rating just because it has a good sibling dynamic), so I immediately began loving this book.

It was the perfect mix of romance and fantasy. The romance didn't overtake the fantasy, and the fantasy wasn't heavy enough to overshadow the romance. The romance itself isn't a big part of the novel. It's a subplot. The main plot is Laia trying to do whatever she can to find and rescue her brother, along with Elias trying to break free of the hold this school has on him.

Elias and Laia were both fascinating to read about. I think they were both handled very well. It was nice to read about a male character who had an emotional and hard backstory, but who wasn't a jerk because of it. That's something I've never been a big fan of, real life or not.

I'm honestly surprised I ended up liking Laia so much. Most times, I have a hard time finding female characters I actually like. Most of them are either flat or I can't connect with them.

There are a select few I enjoy (Annabeth Chase [Riordanverse], Hermione Granger [Harry Potter], Ruby Otrera [Frostblood], Katniss Everdeen [The Hunger Games], and Inej Ghafa [Six of Crows; new addition]), but most tend to either annoy or bore me. I tend to lean toward male characters more than female ones. I definitely have more male characters I like.

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Another thing I enjoyed is the writing. Both Laia and Elias have such different character voices, which is honestly something I really appreciate. As a writer who likes to write in multiple perspectives, I know how difficult it is to create different characters. With the main fantasy series I'm writing, I'm trying to balance and work with four. Sometimes one is hard enough (though one is definitely easier than 2 or more).

While this story has ancient Roman aspects, it also mixes some Arabian and Islamic culture. There are djinn, among other things. It's very interesting, and I thought these cultures were mixed very well to create a unique world I've never read before.

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Overall, I really love this book, and it's definitely one of my favorite books/series. It was really enjoyable. I gave it 5 stars on Goodreads. I'd highly recommend trying it. It isn't going to be for everyone (what book is), but I think it's worth attempting to read. The characters are fascinating, the world is intriguing, and the story is interesting.

That's it for this review! I hope you enjoyed it!

Until next time,

Lexi K🖌

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Disability in Middle Grade: What Stars Are Made of by Sarah Allen (Spoiler-Free Review)

Welcome back to Musings of an Arthritic Artist!

Today I'm going to be reviewing a book I won through a Goodreads review last year. I had initially intended to review this book after I read it, but I forgot about it, so I decided to review it here on my blog.

I wrote a post (this one: Does Writing Improve My Autoimmune Disease and Mental Health? (opens in new window)) where I talked about wanting to read a Children's, Middle Grade, or YA book about a character with a condition or disability at the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. I wish I would've had this book, but sadly, I got this book in the mail in May.

That book is What Stars Are Made of by Sarah Allen.

Let's get into the review!

What Stars Are Made of is a book about 12 year old, Libby Monroe, who was born with Turner Syndrome (only affects girls; main key is a missing/partially missing X chromosome, though there's more to it than that; for those who are unfamiliar, girls should have two X chromosomes, not just one). It is an Own Voices novel. The author (Sarah Allen) was born with Turner Syndrome.

Personally, I have never heard of Turner Syndrome, so this book was incredibly interesting.

She loves science and her older sister, Nonny. This was a heartwarming story. I enjoy how supportive Libby's family was. I enjoyed her parents, sister, and brother-in-law.

Another thing I really liked was how positive this story was (however, not to the point of being annoying). Libby is an optimistic, 12 year old girl who has a medical condition, but doesn't let it get her down (at least, not for long). It didn't paint anyone in a bad light, and is the kind of book I would curl up with and re-read.

I don't think I would pick this book over a Fantasy story of some kind, but I would definitely re-read it if I wanted a heartwarming story about a child with a medical condition. I would definitely re-read if I was in one of my disability moods (I have a hard time explaining what this means; it's basically one of my sometimes moods where I ponder disability and medical conditions and during those periods, I want to read books that have main or side characters with disability/medical conditions).

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I really loved this book. It was heartwarming and so positive it made my heart smile. Libby was such a happy character, and I loved her. This story is also told in first-person, so just reading Libby's narration was so enjoyable. I think this is one of my favorite giveaways I've ever won through Goodreads, if not my absolute favorite.

It was quick and short, but it wasn't too short to where its low page count bothered me. I read it over the course of two days, so it definitely didn't take me long. This is a middle grade novel, so it's very short overall.

It was really interesting to read about Libby's struggles, considering I hadn't heard of Turner's Syndrome before and immediately wanted to know more about it. It was really enjoyable (it isn't enjoyable knowing that people have medical conditions and disabilities, but it's enjoyable to me to read stories about people with medical conditions and/or disability) to read Libby's story. It's a story that isn't very common, and it's also very personal, which I love. I love stories that feel as if they evoke an emotion, both to the reader and the author when they wrote it.

I'm glad this book exists, and I'm hoping that other girls with Turner Syndrome read it and saw themselves in Libby. I hope that they connected and related to her on some level, because I know that if I read a book about a child with my condition (as long as it wasn't handled poorly), I'd feel heard and not alone.

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The main focus in this book is Libby's family. Her older sister is pregnant, and Libby is worried that her baby will end up like her (Libby was born with a heart defect; there were more details about other things, but I don't want to spoil the book or give a false definition).

Libby decides she is going to enter a Women in STEM contest held by the Smithsonian with a project on Cecilia Payne, the first woman (and person) who discovered that stars were primarily made of hydrogen and helium (Henry Norris Russell [who originally dissuaded Cecilia from her conclusion because it would contradict the scientific consensus at the time] was originally credited with the discovery, despite the fact that he credited her in his paper).

The winner of this contest will receive 25,000 dollars, which Libby wants to use to help her sister and brother-in-law with their financial struggles, among other things.

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Overall, I really loved this book and I rated it a 5 out of 5 stars on Goodreads. It's actually a very educational book on things such as Turner Syndrome and women in science, among many other things.

I don't think it handled anything too heavily, but it also didn't cover things too lightly. It seemed to be the perfect balance. I wish I could've read this book when I was in one of my disability moods at the beginning of the pandemic, but I've read it now and I'm glad I own a copy.

That's it for this review!

I hope you enjoyed it!

See you Thursday,

Lexi K🖌

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Comic Spotlight: The Most Artistically Pleasing Comics I've Read (late February 2021-May 2021)

I've read more comics this year than I have probably since 2017, when I was binge-reading the Guardians of the Galaxy comics my parents bought me at our comic book shop, a few weeks before my family took me to see Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2.

My sister got a job back in January. She is a comic news writer for Screenrant. You can check her articles out here if you haven't already: Screenrant: Samantha King Author Profile (opens in new window). When this post goes up, 205 comic articles of hers have been published.

Anyway, because of the job she has, she bought yearly subscriptions for Marvel Unlimited and DC Universe Infinite. Lucky for me, she isn't the kind of person who would forbid me from using it. Quite the opposite, in fact. Therefore, for the past few months, I've had access to thousands of comics published by Marvel and DC.

Within this time frame, I have been reading and finding some comics that I find artistically pleasing. I tend to have a certain style that I like. Sometimes, there will be a comic that doesn't fit my style, but the art is still done well in a way that works for me.

This post is just a list of my favorite comics that I've read between February and the first few weeks of May. I will have these separated by Marvel Comics and DC Comics, but they aren't in any specific order.

Without further ado, let's get into the post!

Marvel

Black Panther (2009-2010)

This was one of the first Marvel comic series I read (the first was The Infinity Gauntlet from 1991). I decided to read this series because I wanted to read about what the comics did when T'Challa was in a coma, unable to be the Black Panther. I wanted to see what the MCU could potentially do for the Black Panther sequel. As you can tell by the cover for the first issue, a girl becomes the Black Panther. The one who takes over the role for this series is Shuri, T'Challa's sister.

I read this for the story and was awed by the art in this series. The more comics I read, the more I realize I have a preferred art style. I like ones with a lot of detail, vivid colors, and plenty of shadows and highlights.

This comic series was written by Reginald Hudlin. It was illustrated by Ken Lashley, Paul Neary, Will Conrad, and Paul Renaud.

Aero (2019-present)

This was an interesting change from the previous one. It has a similar art style as far as shadows and highlights goes, but the style as far as anatomy goes is very similar to manga. This comic series is about Lei Ling, a young architect based in Shanghai. This is a Chinese manhua (Chinese comics produced in China and Greater China) that was created by a Chinese company (NetEase) in collaboration with Marvel Worldwide Inc. It was intended to be a prequel and spinoff to Marvel's comic series, Agents of Atlas. This is Lei Ling's introduction. She has the ability to feel and control air currents, read chi, and fly. It was translated into English by Greg Pak.

Aero was originally written by Zhou Liefen and drawn by Keng. Other artists include Pop Mhan and Frederico Bree.

Star Wars: Darth Maul (2000)

I looked at a lot of Star Wars comics this year in preparation for my May the 4th post. I was initially draw a drawing of Darth Maul, so I was going through comics he was in, but I ended up running out of time, so I didn't even begin the drawing. A lot of older comics have a certain look to them, and I have to say that the art in this exceeded my expectations.

Even though this comic series is only about 20 years old, we have still made it a long way regarding comic book art, especially among big companies like Marvel and DC. This series has the kind of comic art I enjoy. It's detailed, the colors are pretty vivid, and it has shadows and highlights. It was a pleasant surprise.

This is a four-part series, so it's very short. It was written by Ron Marz and illustrated by Jan Duursema and Drew Struzan.

Doctor Strange (2018-2019)

I only read one issue for this (I prefer to either read the entire series if it's short enough, or at least four issues before I say I like/dislike the art style), but I knew I had to include it. The art in this series is very stylized but realistic, which is another thing I really like in illustrations.

This series was written by Mark Waid and Barry Kitson. It was illustrated by Jesus Saiz, Javier Garron, Javier Pina, and Kevin Nowlan.

DC

Aquaman (2011-2016)

This was the first Aquaman comic series I started reading. This is part of the New 52. The art in this is very similar to the previous ones I mentioned, but it reads a bit more like a DC comic (the muscles tend to be very noticeable; more noticeable than the comics I've read in Marvel thus far). I like the colors and highlights used in this series.

This series was written by Geoff John. It was illustrated by Ivan Reis, Joe Prado and Rod Reis.

Wonder Woman: Rebirth (2016-present)

This was one of the first DC comics I read this year (if not the first). This year, this is the comic series I've read the most of. I'm on issue 22 of 109. I think this art is my favorite of the DC ones I've read thus far. The covers are always gorgeous. I picked up this one because my sister and I had just watched Wonder Woman 1984 and I wanted to read more Wonder Woman comics, so I started with this one.

This series was written by Greg Rucka. It was illustrated by Paulo Siquiera, Liam Sharp, Matthew Clark, Sean Parsons, and Laura Martin.

Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps: Rebirth (2016-2018)

This was one I read more recently. My sister owns the first volume, so I read her copy within a couple days. The art is very similar to the Wonder Woman. What I loved about this one was the color palette. Obviously if you're reading a Green Lantern comic, there's going to be a lot of green and yellow, sometimes even whole pages that are essentially dominated by one of these two colors (maybe even both).

This series was written by Robert Venditti. It was illustrated by Ethan Van Sciver and Jason Wright.

Batman: Rebirth (2016-present)

This is another one I read more recently. I feel as if I can't write this post and not include a Batman comic of some kind. He's a DC classic. For this, I chose the Batman: Rebirth comics. I really like the art in the Rebirth comics, though I'm not a huge fan of all of them. These are just the ones I'm partial to.

This series was written by Scott Snyder and Tom King. It was illustrated by Mikel Janin.

Aquaman: Rebirth (2016-present)

This is another Aquaman series. The DC characters I'm most interested in right now are Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Green Arrow, so I did generically read more of these characters than any others. This art is very bright and the aquatic scenes are beautiful, something I really look forward to when I read Aquaman comics.

This series was written by Dan Abnett. It was illustrated by Scot Eaton, Oscar Jimenez, Gabe Eltaeb, Brad Walked, and Andrew Hennessy.

Green Arrow (2010-2011)

This is the first Green Arrow series I began to read (for once I didn't go for the Rebirth). This art is similar to the others. It's very clean and smooth, along with incredibly vivid color palette wise. I am really interested in Green Arrow at the moment because my sister made me watch Arrow, the CW series with her at the beginning of quarantine and we were loving it, so I wanted to read more about him.

This series was written by J.T. Krul. It was illustrated by Diogenes Neves, Vicente Cifuentes, and Mauro Cascioli.

That's it for this post! I hope you enjoyed it!

Until next time,

Lexi K🖌

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Holmes and Watson in YA: A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro (Spoiler-Free Review)

Welcome back to Musings of an Arthritic Artist! Today I am going to be doing another book review, this one a spoiler free review of A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro.

Normally I like to spread out my book reviews out a bit more, but I've been incredibly busy with school for the past week and I haven't been able to really keep up. I'm still going to be posting, but don't be surprised if you see a more frequent number of book reviews (they're the quickest type of post for me to write).

With that aside, let's get into the review!

A Study in Charlotte is a YA mystery retelling of Sherlock Holmes, though it's a bit more complicated than that. It's more of a YA mystery based on Sherlock Holmes. This story's main characters are two teens, Jamie Watson and Charlotte Holmes, the descendants (great great great-grandchildren) of John Watson and Sherlock Holmes, respectively. In this novel, Sherlock and Watson were real people of whom Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a publicist for.

Jamie and Charlotte meet at a school in Connecticut (however they are both from England like their grandfathers), and Jamie is fascinated by her. They become friends. This is a YA mystery novel, though it's also part romance. It is quite clear that Jamie likes her, and I assume Charlotte feels the same way, but we'll see in the later installments.

I don't want to say too much about it because I feel like it's one of those stories you should go into knowing very little about. Chances are you already know what kind of story it is based on reading the title. And that's really as much as I knew. It's a mystery, so I feel like if I talk about it, it'll just ruin the fun of whodunnit and why.

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This was the first book I read in 2021. It was a very quick read, allowing me to finish it in one day (New Year's Day). It only has twelve chapters and an epilogue, which makes it fly by. It follows the same basic formula of the Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, albeit in a modern setting with modern words and technology. It is told in the perspective of Jamie Watson as he befriends Charlotte Holmes. In normal Holmes fashion, there is a plot afoot.

A Study in Charlotte is the first book of four in the Charlotte Holmes series, so there's still plenty of novels left. I'm honestly really interested in how this series ends. I read A Study in Scarlet earlier last year (pre-pandemic), and enjoyed it, though I was confused and kind of bored by the second part.

This book (as you would expect it to) makes quite a few references to some of the short stories, so much so that--having only read A Study in Scarlet at the time--I finished this book and immediately read the short stories it referenced (The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle, The Adventure of the Dying Detective, and The Adventure of the Speckled Band).

About a month after this, I read much more Sherlock Holmes stories. I read The Sign of the Four, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, and The Hound of the Baskervilles. I'm definitely not finished with the full chronology. I've only read about half the stories. There's still more to Sherlock's and Watson's stories that I'm not familiar with.

Reading this made me want to read Sherlock Holmes even more. I do wish that I had read all the stories before reading this, but at the same time, this is a YA novel, and I know that the author probably didn't expect the potential teenager reading this book to have read The Complete Sherlock Holmes. For what it's worth, I think Brittany Cavallaro did an excellent job of writing this for teens.

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I enjoyed reading about Jamie and Charlotte. I thought they were both complicated and interesting to follow. Having already been familiar with the format of Sherlock Holmes stories, I really enjoyed that the story was told from Jamie's point-of-view, especially since Charlotte seems to solve mysteries almost as fast as Sherlock Holmes himself.

Charlotte was also very much like Sherlock, while still being her own distinct person. They both have their vices, they both kind of come off as peculiar and off-putting, and they both have their secrets. Charlotte is somewhat unlikeable, while also being likeable. It's complicated for me to explain effectively.

I really enjoyed and appreciated the references made to the Sherlock Holmes stories, even though I didn't understand all of them. The story itself is pretty simple, but it wasn't too simple to where it annoyed me.

I haven't read a lot of mysteries in YA, so this is one of the best ones I've read, and I'm really excited to continue with this series at a later time. I rated this five out of five stars on Goodreads. Overall, I really enjoyed it, and would recommend it for anyone who enjoys YA, mysteries, romance, and Sherlock Holmes. It isn't the best, but it's a quick, enjoyable read that I wanted to curl up and re-read the moment I finished it.

That's it for this review!

I hope you enjoyed it!

See you Thursday,

Lexi K🖌

Thursday, May 13, 2021

Six of Crows: Ocean's Eleven Meets YA Fantasy (Spoiler-Free Review)

Welcome back to Musings of an Arthritic Artist! Today, we are going to be doing another book review, this one for Six of Crows, the first book in the Six of Crows Duology by Leigh Bardugo.

This title says "spoiler free," however there is one key physical aspect of one of the main characters that I mention. It isn't a major spoiler, but if you're the kind of person who prefers to go into a book without knowing anything (including physical characteristics), then I may not advise reading this. For everyone else, read on.

With that being said, let's get into the review!

Six of Crows is a YA Fantasy novel with romance aspects sprinkled in, though it isn't the focal point of the novel. This series is technically the second series in the Grishaverse, the first being the Grisha/Shadow and Bone trilogy (depends on who in the fandom you ask; both are valid search queries, though if you read the Six of Crows cover at the top, it clearly states Grisha Trilogy).

This story is written in third-person point-of-view following six characters (five have a POV in this novel). These six characters are members of a gang in a world inspired by Amsterdam, Antwerp, Las Vegas, and Old New York (New Amsterdam), with one member being a leader.

I read this about a month ago because I wanted to watch the Netflix adaptation that mixes Shadow and Bone and five of the characters in Six of Crows; however, the Six of Crows TV plotline doesn't cover much of the book plotline (save for one romance spanning this novel), most likely setting these characters up for a future season due to the show's success among many Grishaverse fans and generic watchers of Fantasy or Netflix.

When I was reading this, I was very much reminded of Ocean's Eleven, a movie my sister and I watched last year in preparation for a family vacation right before the pandemic hit. There is a heist involved, albeit it's a fantasy setting instead of Vegas (though it was an inspiration for Ketterdam, which I'm honestly not surprised about).

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I technically read this book out of order. I read Shadow and Bone at the beginning of last year, and had begun reading Siege and Storm right after, but I dropped it because I wasn't feeling it at the time. I had been excited to read this one for two reasons. One, the plot sounded intriguing, and two, the cover is memorable.

Personally, I really enjoyed this book, and it's one of my favorite YA books. It isn't my number one (it's going to be hard to overthrow the Riordanverse books), but it was incredibly enjoyable, and I might even consider it a top five. I especially enjoyed Kaz, who is one of the main characters, and he was my favorite (yes, even over Inej). I just related to him for one specific reason.

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If you've read any of my other posts, you know I have autoimmune disease/chronic pain/juvenile arthritis/invisible disability. Kaz has a cane he uses due to something that happened to him in the past that is revealed a bit later in the novel regarding his right leg, and I thought this was fascinating.

I can only think of one other YA character that requires a cane to get around (Jem Carstairs from The Infernal Devices, though he isn't a protagonist, and he doesn't always need the cane; also one of my favorite characters). I can think of many side characters with limps (the most notable being Newt from The Maze Runner series; another favorite), but not mobility aids, especially in a fantasy novel.

I don't have mobility aids (I refused everything except a stroller or wagon when I was younger), but I've walked with a limp dozens of times, and I've also dealt with leg pain a lot, so to read about a YA Fantasy character that has a limp and needs a cane is really special and refreshing.

The author, Leigh Bardugo, mentions in her Acknowledgements in Six of Crows that Kaz's limp and cane was largely inspired by her own experience with osteonecrosis (death of bone tissue due to lack of blood supply; sometimes Ms. Bardugo has to walk using a cane), which makes Kaz even more personal.

I think his limp was incorporated into his character really well. It never made him weak, and it was never glossed over as if it never existed. The limp itself never disappeared. It was never a convenient plot device solely so that he could be healed at the end of the novel, and I liked that. It was just a part of who he was, which is more realistic to how life actually works.

As for the rest of the Crows (the members of the gang), I enjoyed all of them. I thought their stories and backstories were really well incorporated, though I connected with Kaz the most, due to the reason I mentioned above.

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I think I read this book at the exact time I needed it, though I can't explain why. Kaz is a character I have never seen before. His backstory was so fleshed out, while also keeping some aspects mysterious, and I really enjoyed that. At times, I didn't even feel as if I was reading a YA novel. Sometimes when I read books, I can tell what the target audience is supposed to be, especially when it comes to YA.

However, this book has such well-done characters mixed with such a unique writing style that just makes it feel as if this novel is intended to be read by anyone fourteen and up (I only say fourteen because there is more violence in this than in the Grisha Trilogy and other YA books I've read), which is something I haven't really come across in my reading adventures and binges.

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Overall, I really enjoyed Six of Crows, and I rate it 5 out of 5 stars.

I highly recommend this book for anyone who enjoys YA, Fantasy, Romance, heists, morally gray characters, and characters that feel as if they could be real. Many people will say that this book isn't realistic because no kid could be the leader of a gang (it's Fantasy, it doesn't always have to be hyper-realistic) and that it isn't relatable because of this (although, based on my comments above, you can tell that I highly relate to it despite the fantasy barrier).

Overall, I think this book is worth a try. You don't have to read the Grisha Trilogy before this (I didn't, joining a club of many other people), but if you are a stickler for continuity and reading things in chronological order, then I would definitely read about Alina Starkov, Malyen Oretsev, and the Darkling first.

That's it for this review! I hope you enjoyed it!

Until next time,

Lexi K🖌

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Mother's Day Appreciation

**Welcome to Musings of an Arthritic Artist! Today is going to be a special post. Sunday, May 9 was Mother's Day, so today is going to be a special post. This post is for my wonderful mother.**

King, Alexandria. Musings of an Arthritic Artist. 2021.

My mother is the strongest woman I know. Whenever there’s a family emergency, she never hesitates to be the first to help.

When doctors told her that at nine months old her youngest child of two was diagnosed with Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis, a childhood autoimmune disease, she kept calm and was determined to get her child the medical care she needed.

That child was me (which you know if you're a regular reader). I couldn’t imagine what my life would be like without her. Dealing with her own pains, I always wonder how she’s able to do everything she does without cracking under pressure.

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When I was a child, my mother always took the time to help me when I couldn't help myself. I've been on chemotherapy three separate times (around 9 months to 6 years old, 6 years old to I want to say 11, and 12 to 12 and a half), and each time my mother had to give me my medicine and make sure I was awake.

My family comes from a long line of health issues, so I'm not an anomaly in my family (at least on my maternal side; I'm kind of an anomaly on my father's), so I wonder how my mother does it. If I ask I know she'll tell me that it's her responsibility, but it still makes me wonder how she has succeeded in raising me and my sister, guiding my sister with her education, educating me, taking care of me, making sure that I have food to eat, all while she's usually in pain herself.

I've been known to do a lot of different things when I'm in pain, but not as much as she has because I don't have many responsibilities. I don't have a child, I'm not married, and I'm not an adult. I do some things at pain levels others probably have a hard time imagining, but my mother did it so frequently when she was raising me that I wondered if she was even 100% human. It's like she's super-human or something.

I've been lucky enough to have a mother who actively wants to be a part of my life and who loves me. Sure, there's times where we disagree, but we always put those moments behind us. She and I have an emotional understanding I can't easily explain.

And honestly, no matter how many times I write about how amazing my mother is, it'll still never be enough. No matter how many times I thank her, it'll still never be enough.

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When I was a child, I used to withhold affection. If someone hugged me, I physically felt pain, so when my mother would try to hug me, I'd run off immediately. After a short while, my mother realized why, and stopped trying to hug me, instead waiting for me to hug her.

I am now catching up on all the hugs I lost the opportunity to have. For the past few years, I've apologized for not hugging her as a child, even though it wasn't my fault. I still feel guilty about it. My autoimmune disease caused me so much pain as a child to where I couldn't hug the people I loved because I was afraid I'd feel pain.

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Honestly, I was not an easy child to raise. I couldn't walk as a child, I needed care 24/7, and I was certified disabled when I was 7. My mother has homeschooled me since I was about 7 years old (I was in public school for about 3 months before I had to quit; I'll address that in a future post), and I have not been an easy person to teach, especially not when I was little.

The medications I used to take made me restless, loopy, and forgetful. I couldn't sit still and I couldn't focus. No matter how many times my mother would try to sit me down to work, I just couldn't. I couldn't write in my workbooks because my wrists never wanted to cooperate. I rarely ever got schoolwork done because my mind couldn't focus.

I am graduating a year behind when I would have graduated in public school (I'm now Class of 2022). I took a gap year in 2017 when my sister did, so we could spend time together. School was never easy for me growing up, and I always stressed about it. I was afraid I would never graduate high school. I thought that I was stupid and unteachable. But more than that, I was afraid that I would disappoint my mother, which I always knew wasn't true, but I couldn't re-train my mind to let go of that guilt.

I have never told my mother this, because I know that if I do, I'm going to cry (as it is, I'm already crying while writing this). I never thought that I was good enough. I couldn't sit still, I could barely write, and there were times where I questioned whether art would even be a feasible career path due to my wrist issues. It's been about 12 years and I'm almost there. I've almost made it past high school, and I have my amazing family to thank for that. Without my mother, I wouldn't have an education. Without my mother, I wouldn't be where I am. There are only so many things I can teach myself before I get lost and don't know what to do.

I know that there were times where my mother wanted to quit teaching me, but she never did. We always kept going, and I'm grateful. I've never been the most studious student, but I try. I'm definitely better at school now than I used to be.

I know my mother is reading this. This post is for you, Mama. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I can't thank you enough. Happy Mother's Day!

That's it for this post!

See you Thursday,

Lexi K🖌

Thursday, May 6, 2021

Delving Into Digital Art

Welcome back to Musings of an Arthritic Artist! For today's post, I'm going to be sharing some of the digital art I have attempted over the last 2-ish months. I haven't been practicing regularly, instead mostly working at random times.

I'm not going to be explaining what I did for every piece because there are about 40 digital art pieces in this post. Instead, I will be explaining the first three, then I'll just show them consecutively. I don't want to bog down this post with too many words; it's already going to be long enough as is.

Let's get into my first digital art gallery!

King, Alexandria. Musings of an Arthritic Artist. 2021.

I have never given much thought to doing digital art. My only experience with digital art has come from playing Pokemon Art Academy and Disney Art Academy on the Nintendo 3DS. I don't have a tablet to draw on and due to my wrist issues, I can't use a computer mouse for hours on end. The movement and constant grip on the mouse strains my wrist. Then, I realized I could use my keyboard to draw on Microsoft Paint by simply using the direction keys and the space bar.

After finding this out, I decided to try my hand at digital art. I'm not good, but I want to get better. If I could do both traditional and digital art, I feel as if it'll be a useful skill, just in case I ever run into problems with either. At the moment, I'm just trying to get a handle on the space bar use. Using the space bar and direction keys is interesting because it functions kind of like an Etch-A-Sketch, which I loved using when I was younger, but I haven't used one in a couple years. It's a tiny bit harder on the Etch-A-Sketch though, due to the twisting motion of the knobs.

After using Microsoft Paint a couple times, I started using Autodesk Sketchbook, which I initially found on my family's laptop. After this, I saw it on my desktop and experimented with it. The majority of the digital art pieces in this post were created using Autodesk Sketchbook.

King, Alexandria. Stormy Gray. March 15, 2021. Microsoft Paint.

I was using the oil paint tool with my mouse. I took a break in between, so I was able to do something. As I mentioned in my creative block post (linked here: 7 Simple Ways to Escape Artist's/Writer's Block (opens in new window)), one of my favorite things to draw is eyes, so I decided to do a quick eye. I think this took me about 15-20 minutes once I got into it. It isn't great, but I don't think it's awful.

King, Alexandria. Vine. March 15, 2021. Microsoft Paint.

I also painted this vine (which is also one of my automatic go-tos for drawing). Personally, I don't like the leaves on this vine, but I do like the color I used for the highlights.

King, Alexandria. Untitled. March 28, 2021. Autodesk Sketchbook.

In Autodesk Sketchbook, there are symmetry tools. You can pick one of three. The first is two halves divided vertically. The second is two halves divided horizontally. The third functions as radial symmetry (think of a pizza divided into at least 3 pieces that can quickly become 16 pieces) The radial symmetry tool is how I've done the majority of the following pieces.